Listening in the midst of chaos
In the midst of the noise are you listening?
Amidst the tensions, fears, and noise of the Coronavirus we must lean into compassion, love, and going the extra mile to be a support and blessing. What is society saying right now? What does our self-protectionism and panic saying?
In our small HOA — don’t think fancy, think manufactured homes and mobile homes — there are many elderly who are fearful. Those able are rallying to create small groups of folks who can connect with the elderly and make sure they are being taken care of.
We need to listen through and beyond the noise of panic and self-preservation.
I’ve recently been hearing a lot of thought leaders talk about the power of listening.
Are you a listener?
Is the noise all you hear?
Do you listen only to fix?
Do you listen in order to share your great depth of pastoral wisdom?
When you listen where is your focus? Is the focus on you, or the person talking?
These are challenging questions. How good am I at listening? My wife could probably give you the best answer. I’m certainly guilty of listening to fix, or make everything better, to give a solution — that’s what leaders do right? Maybe not so much. Yes, our expertise is important, but I suggest the skill of listening may be even more important, especially during times as these.
Whether you are a life coach, pastor, wife, husband, or friend, listening is a skill you probably need to work on. Consider being aware of not only what you hear, but what the environment is like, the body language of person you are listening to, nuances in tone etc. One group of authors speaking to life coaches note that “listening is the gateway through which all coaching passes” (Kimsey-House, Kinsey-House, Sandahl, and Whitworth, 2011. p. 34).
Yes, people need help—practical help—but maybe they also just need to know they are heard. What are the deeper needs that are now rising to the surface of society? What is it just beyond the fear that we need to hear? How can we minister and listen to the spiritual chaos that has always existed but is now boiling to the surface?
As you read through these three levels of listening consider where you fit.
Level 1: At this level, one listens to the words of the other person, but attention is on what it means personally. At this first level, the focus is less on the person talking and more on you. Level I listening informs us about ourselves and what’s going on around us.
Level 2: At this level, a sharp focus and awareness is placed on the person you are listening to. Here empathy, clarification, and collaboration begin to enter the picture. At this level you should act like a mirror that reflects to the person what they are sharing. Energy and information do not come from your well of wisdom, but from the person you are listening to. Detach from yourself, and fully engage the person talking.
Level 3: This is “listening as though you and the speaker were at the center of the universe receiving information from everywhere at once” (Kimsey-Hosue, et., al. p. 37) Action, inaction, and interactions are present. This level of listening is called “environmental” listening; you notice the temperature, the energy level, the lightness or darkness, both literally and figuratively. Here listening goes beyond words and embraces the world of the person you are listening to.
“Deep listening is when all distraction fades, and your heart, mind, and spirit are tuned into the person speaking.”
Get the “noise” out of your head. Focus on the words and emotions of the person you are listening to. Level 2 and 3 listening take practice, focus, and a partnership between your intuition and the Holy Spirit.
THE SECRET FOURTH LEVEL OF LISTENING
As a pastor I would submit there is a fourth Level of listening. This fourth level of listening comes directly from a deep and abiding sensitivity to the whispers, words, and discernment of the Holy Spirit. The fourth, and secret level of listening, is supernatural listening. Allow what someone is saying to slowing sift through the gift of discernment and listen to what the Holy Spirit reveals.
“Allow what the speaker is saying to slowing sift through the gift of discernment and listen to what the Holy Spirit reveals.”
What level of listening are you at professionally, with friends, and with those most close to you? I encourage you to take your depth of listening even deeper. The next time you are in conversation with someone, mentally shift into the third and fourth level of listening.
We are certainly in uncertain times. How we listen and act will be a defining moment in our nation, our communities, our churches and ourselves.
REFERENCE:
Kimsey-House, H., Kinsey-House, K., Sandahl, P., & Whitworth, L. (1998). Co-active coaching: New skills for coaching people toward success in work and life.